Sometimes, you need to see yourself side-by-side to get it.

I've been debating on how frequently to update you all on my journey. I figured nearly 2 weeks later was enough time to reflect and share. Hmm, where should I start? Oh wait, I'll start here:

I'm actually losing weight. Weight that I can see coming off in areas, and on the scale.

For some of you, that may not be a big deal. But for me, it's huge. As I've mentioned in the initial 40 day challenge post, and here on my BHIP reflection, I have a pretty decent workout ethic and pretty sucky eating habits. That combination led to me working out regularly, having pretty good stamina, but my jeans fitting the same way week after week. And the scale not moving.

I didn't realize how big of an impact not eating sweets and sweetened beverages (and being mindful of sugar in other areas, but not obsessing about it) could have on me in such a short amount of time. By the end of the first week (March 7th), I was down 1.8lbs. When I weighed myself on Friday March 14th, I had lost another 2.4lbs. I was beyyyyyyyond ecstatic for both weigh ins -- that's a total of 4.2lbs lost in two weeks! My goal is to sustainably lose about 2lbs a week (a goal I had decided for myself even before Lent began). I do know that the numbers on the scale mean nothing if the clothes aren't fitting right, and I'm happy to report that I'm back in (albeit slightly snug) jeans I had stopped wearing because they fit, but had gotten entirely too tight to be comfortable. I wore jeans all weekend, and Samuel (BF) was like "check you out, jeans again!" If I keep going at this rate, I might be able to drop a jean size by the end of the month!

Just so that we're clear, I'm not just sitting around doing nothing while waiting for the weight to lose itself. I still work out five times a week -- Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Each day I do at least 20 - 30 minutes of medium to high intensity cardio (treadmill intervals, suicide drills, cardio circuits, etc.), and some days I get an extra 30 minutes by taking a moderately paced leisurely walk from my job to Trader Joe's or Target. On Mondays and Wednesdays, I do upper body exercises with weights or body weight and a few core exercises. Tuesdays and Thursdays are leg day -- 'nuff said. Saturdays are a total body workout that usually involves an outdoor run, upper, lower, and core workouts, and culminating in a 5 minute circuit. Just as an aside, I work out with my trainer on Thursdays and Saturdays, the other 3 days of the week I do on my own with a workout plan he provided me.

As far as anything special that I'm using goes, there are two main things I'm on tough: MyFitnessPal and Cardio Igniter. I've had a MFP account forever, but I've never been totally consistent about it. I'm happy to report that I'm on a 17 day streak of logging calories (although sometimes I forget to log my strength workouts)! If you're interested in learning more about MyFitnessPal, visit www.myfitnesspal.com. If you're on and need some motivation (and I always need motivation), my username is tinap17.

Now, what the heck is Cardio Igniter? I'll be the first to admit that I'm always on the hunt for some kind of workout booster. I wanted something to help me go hard and maximize my gym time(without feeling crazy or jittery) particularly during cardio, but that wouldn't keep me up at night or have weird side effects. After a go-round with a few different products, I tried and have stuck with Cardio Igniter. I purchased it at Vitamin Shoppe for about $35 bucks (I think it was on sale). It is supposed to help support stamina, increase focus, support building lean muscle mass, provide energy and endurance, as well as help accelerate fat loss (via thermogenic). To be completely 100% honest, this product does exactly that. I sweat like crazy when I'm using it, I feel super focused on accomplishing the task ahead, and I give it my all. Whether it's actually the product or all in my head, I don't know. But I'm almost out, and will be purchasing more! While this post isn't about Cardio Igniter, if you're interested in a separate review (perhaps via YouTube) let me know!

I'm beginning to trust God's word more.

Another amazing thing that has come about for me is a shift in perspective. Although most people that know me say one of my more endearing qualities is my inherent niceness/willingness to help, I do have my moments of unbridled negativity. Moments where I want to curse people out. Moments where I doubt myself. Moments where I want to give up. Slowly but surely, God is doing a new thing in me. Sometime last week, I was beginning to feel defeated in terms of building my brand as a blogger and content developer. I have been looking for jobs left and right, because I am actively pursuing this as a career. I started feeling overwhelmed, as though I wasn't in the slightest qualified to pursue the field. The more I read, the more I realized I didn't know. Then I looked at my scripture for the day:

the day of Christ Jesus 
 
I couldn't help but praise God. He would never bring me so far and then leave me high and dry. He has a plan for me. I just need to keep working hard and staying faithful. He's done it so many times before, I just have to trust Him MORE now than I did even then! My anxiety has transformed to anticipation. Instead of pacing nervously in my head about who knows more about x, y, and z than me, and what other people may be doing, I am learning to focus all of my energy on Him. On understanding that what God has for ME, he has for ME -- not for someone else. There is no one that can come and take away, or outdo what God has in store for me. I even applied this to my wellness journey. In those moments I feel like I want to give up, I have to remind myself of the good work that He has begun in me. So I'm resting in that, and believing wholeheartedly in Him on every step of this journey -- not just professionally, but on my journey to better health.

More updates in a few weeks! Be blessed everyone!

I started writing this article last Wednesday (Ash Wednesday, for Catholics/Christians out there), and stopped. When it comes to posts and articles pertaining to my own health and wellness struggle journey, I get very guarded. I'll be the first to admit that I have difficulty sticking to things, especially things that have been long-term challenges and require lots of time before seeing results. I tend to think, there's got to be an easier way.

Truth is, around this time last year I was on the tail end of my participation in a grueling 12 week program called BHIP (Bruin Health Improvement Program) that was offered through my job at UCLA. You can read all about that here. I was working out like a madwoman, doing 2 a day workouts, still eating like crap, and wondering why the numbers on the scale would only budge slightly. But at the end of my post, I had 12 reflections. Two of them really kicked me upside the head:

7. Sometimes, willpower and determination will be the only things to pull you through. There were mornings when I absolutely loathed the idea of getting out of my bed to work out. In particular, those were the days it rained. But I kept repeating to myself, you'll never forgive yourself if you quit now. So I got up, and got kicked around in the morning, so I wouldn't be kicking myself later.

2. Exercise without proper nutrition is (almost) pointless. The biggest eye opener for me. Since I began my health and wellness journey about two years ago, I have been working out somewhat regularly (I've never missed more than 3 days of working out). But my diet still very much sucked. Some weeks it was okay-ish, others (namely weekends), were a complete clusterfudge of fried foods and sugar. As I have embarked on my 17 Day Clean Eating Challenge, I am seeking to shift the paradigm in a major way for myself. Perhaps after the end of this 17 days, I will begin to see some of the changes I truly desire, and keep going from there. It's true: you can't out-exercise a bad diet. Take it from me. You won't necessarily gain weight, but you won't lose it either.

#7 still holds true until this very day. You've got to want to do something even when you don't want to do it. That's been the ONLY way I've maintained my workout ethic. Some days are less intense than others, but lower intensity is better than sitting on my butt at home watching TV. You notice how in #2 I mentioned a 17 day clean eating challenge? Guess what? I never finished it. I got to like day 5 or so, and threw in the towel. I know, I suck...but remember what I said in the first paragraph?

This time around, it's 2014 and I feel TONS more ready. No, I didn't do like everyone else did and make a new year's resolution to go on a crazy diet and work out 8 hours a day like it's my job. I most certainly did not sign up to be a Herbalife "health coach", or buy any of those stupid waist trainers. Yes, those are shade-riddled sentences. I think all of the above mentioned methods *may* work for some and are flawed and unsustainable. But I'm not going to spend time on why...just know that's how I feel. Now, what exactly does this have to do with here and now? I'm writing this post to say, I'm starting over. Clean slate.

L: defeat by box jump (11/13). R: slowly conquering (3/14)

 For about the past month, my awesomely amazing boyfriend has been paying for me to have a trainer once a week. Yes, he used to train me himself for the free.99 but that wasn't conducive to our relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend. Training has been going exceptionally well (even though there are days I absolutely don't feel like being bothered...see #7 again). My boyfriend and I have slashed the fast food drastically, and cook most evenings out of the week. I have lost a few pounds (like 3), and a few inches (don't know how many). But when I woke up on last Wednesday, I realized the first day of Lent was upon me. I hadn't given much consideration to Lent, and it's not because I'm not Catholic. For the past few years, my boyfriend and I have given up something individually or with our families not only as a gesture of sacrifice for the greatest sacrifice, but as a means of discipline and spiritual reflection. But for a reason I can only attribute to being God, the thought of what to give up was literally the first thought I had upon opening my eyes. It came to me in a flash: Christina, give up sweets.

I battled with myself for a second. Does this have to include my precious Grande White Chocolate Mocha with Soy and Sugar-Free Hazelnut, and No Whip, No Foam (yes, that really is my signature Starbucks drink)? Of course it includes that clusterfudge of sugar, fake sugar, and more than likely GMO soy. But, I didn't get a send-off cupcake or something! You'll live. But, today is Wednesday and I have coffee at my meeting every Wednesday.... You'll get over it. Or drink it black. So with little more than a few minutes of warning, I had settled on my Lenten sacrifice. I was giving up sweets.

At first, I was scared. I felt so ill-prepared to do this. I almost knew I was going to fail. Before I completely psyched myself out, I prayed. I made peace with my decision, and decided that I was going to have faith in myself. Faith that God would show me the way. And so a week in to this journey, I can say that I feel success coming my way. I set a goal last Monday that I wanted to lose 2lbs that week. I didn't know how I was going to do it, especially considering I had to miss a day due to a late work meeting. I even screwed up really badly and ate Panda Express that same day (and yes, I had orange chicken). In spite of all of that, I hopped on the scale and was down 1.8lbs that Friday. I was completely, and utterly shocked. Could 3 days of virtually no sugar (with the exception of my greek yogurt from Trader Joe's and that darn orange chicken) make that much of a difference on the scale?

Maybe. As my 1 week mark approaches, I feel strangely proud of myself. I haven't indulged in cookies, cake, candy, or even my normal coffee. I'm hoping that through these 40 days, I will more intimately know God, and myself -- and what both of us are capable of! After a good 20 - 21 days (it's said that it takes 21 days to break an old habit and form a new one), I am considering upping the ante and eliminating added sugars. But to not psyche myself out, I'm taking this thing one day at a time.

To make it plain, here's what I'm doing:

• No sweets - this includes cookies, candies, fruit snacks, ice cream, cake, pie, and the like
• No sweetened beverages - I only drink water. Sometimes plain, or sparkling mineral.  I can only have a cup of coffee if it contains cream only -- no sugar!
• No artificial sweeteners (stevia, agave, aspartame, sugar alcohols, etc. included) in food or beverages
• Spending time every day reading Scripture and journaling/praying

This sacrifice is tailored specifically to me. You can feel free to join me if you wish!

Are you observing Lent, or sacrificing anything for 40 days?