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The 10 Stages of Being a Natural...Which Stage Are You?

10:50 AM

The 10 Stages of Being a Natural

The natural hair journey is something else, isn't it? We laugh, we cry, we throw things, pray for low humidity, and take 6,925 selfies when our twist-out is on fleek. Through the peaks and valleys, one thing remains constant: natural hair is fly. But admit it though -- you had to go through these 10 stages to get there:

Stage 1: The Sponge
The 10 Stages of Being a Natural

When you first made the decision to go natural, the internets became your best friend. You subscribed to everybody and they mama's channel that had the word "natural" in it. You watched videos on your lunch break. You read articles on BGLH and Naturally Curly at your desk, switching back to Outlook e-mail when your supervisor walked by. You used every opportunity to absorb as much information as you could -- pre-poos, co-washing, deep conditioning, protective styling -- and made a looooooong list of products to buy.

Oh, Nap85 dropped a new twist-out video? YASSSSS
The 10 Stages of Being a Natural

Stage 2: The Product Junkie
The 10 Stages of Being a Natural

As a direct result of Stage 1, you became a product junkie -- buying and stashing up on every single natural hair product mentioned on YouTube and the blogs. Shea Moisture BOGO at Walgreens? You're there. Eden BodyWorks on sale at Sally's? You told your boss you had a dentist appointment scheduled for early afternoon, just so you could leave after lunch to scoop up products before other PJs could leave the shelves barren. You almost became embarrassed about your stockpile in the bathroom, until you bought a 3-drawer bin to hide your habit.

Stage 3: Doing The Absolute Most
The 10 Stages of Being a Natural

After information and product overload, comes your wash day weekend production. From Friday evening to Sunday afternoon (you missed morning church service because your bantu knots weren't dry), you went into hiding -- pre-pooing and detangling all Friday night while watching Scandal re-runs, running errands all day Saturday while deep conditioning under a cute beanie, and spending Sunday from 5am until noon under the dryer waiting for your style to set. I know girl, I know.

Stage 4: What The Hell Did I Get Myself Into?
The 10 Stages of Being a Natural

Wash weekends are beginning to take a toll. The braid-out that used to last a week starts acting foolish after 2 days. Your tangles are a mess, and deep conditioning is solving absolutely nothing. You watched that tutorial fifty-leven times, and followed the instructions to a tee -- but.. #stylefail. You refuse to buy another product, but you know something has to change. You've even considered that R-word...

Stage 5: The Purge
The 10 Stages of Being a Natural

After hitting a complete wall with your products -- gobs of white balls in your hair, flakes after your rod set dries, detanglers causing more tangles than they fix, oil spilling everywhere -- you get tired. You start reading about how many hair products contain chemicals and preservatives that are carcinogenic, suffocate the hair, and may cause spontaneous combustion and pollute mother earth. Without a second thought, you purge. Re-gifting dozens of unopened bottles, jars, and tubes (because you're a PJ) to family, friends, co-workers, and curlfriends online.




Stage 6: The Queen of DIY
The 10 Stages of Being a Natural

You refuse to let these cut-corner ingredients harm your temple and your crown, so you head to Target and grab yourself a hand mixer, some bowls, and mason jars with lids. Then, you head to shea butter headquarters and grab a 3lb container, and stop at Vitamin Shoppe after that for some coconut oil, avocado oil, aloe vera gel, and essential oils. Your twist n' curl will be on the 'Gram this weekend, believe that.

Sidebar: That blueberries video is HILARIOUS. 

Stage 7: I Just...Can't (aka I Hate My Hair)
The 10 Stages of Being a Natural

How could your hair revolt against the shea butter? Some nights, you sit at the end of your bed holding a bottle of olive oil, asking it why it hates you so much. Your products stopped working, and now that 64oz jar of shea aloe glory is going to waste, because it's just not doing your hair the way it used to. UGH. You just...can't.

Stage 8: The Lazy Stage
The 10 Stages of Being a Natural

Because your hair is straight trippin', you curve it. Hard. Buns all day, every day. A wig too, if you have somewhere semi-important to go. You let a month pass before you wash it again, because, reasons. Whenever your mom asks about that "cute curly style you used to do", you roll your eyes and suck your teeth. "I'm too busy right now, Gloria-Jean", you say. Yes, you're so irritated with your hair that you called your mom by her government, and are willing to risk the smack to the back of the head. 

Stage 9: [SMACK] Get A Hold of Yourself!
The 10 Stages of Being a Natural

After about 3 months of sulking and buns, you finally shake yourself loose of this funk. You realize that all the information on the internets is not always accurate, some folks like to over-complicate things, other information was unsubstantiated hype, and your hair will never look like SunKissAlba's. But that's okay, because now you've got a new focus -- the basics. You go back through your memory bank aka Instagram and zero in on the products and natural ingredients that worked best for you.

Annnnnd just like that, you're back!
The 10 Stages of Being a Natural

Stage 10: I Love My Hairrrrrrrr!
The 10 Stages of Being a Natural

Just like the Sesame Street song, you're in love with every kink, twist, coil, and curl. You don't give a damn what anyone has to say about your hair, because its your hair. You know you're fly -- you retained some length in that bunning stint during Stage 8, and your edges are plentiful. Can't nobody tell you nothin'!

The 10 Stages of Being a Natural

What natural hair stage are you currently in? I'm somewhere between 9 and 10, with the occasional visit back to 7. #ithappens

Don't forget to come hang out with me on Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest!

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6 comments

  1. HA! Every stage to 100% on point! I just departed from 8 headed into 9 this weekend.

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  2. I'm doing 6 and 8 and for some odd reason, I'm just starting 2. DIY gets a little exhausting. It seems I'm whipping up more hair potions than meals. LoL! I have some flax seed gel brewing at this very moment.

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  3. Christina,
    I laughed out loud at this -- I am the poster child for all 10 stages! Currently I fluctuate between stage 10 and stage 4. I scoffed at DIY, but after product junkie overload, there I was mixing some raw honey and olive oil! Your blog posts are wonderful -- a mixture of intelligent information, humor and craziness

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  4. I Miss The BoondocksJanuary 30, 2015 at 1:33 PM

    April will be 4 years "back to natural" and I JUST made it to 10. This only happened bc I'm on maternity leave, so I had a little time to play w my hair, while baby slept. I finally got great, moisturized, shiny braid out!!! Just in time to go back to work. I almost went back to creamy crack HUNDREDS of times! Happy to make it past the "detox" phase! (Yes, I felt like a junkie, going through the shakes of my creamy crack withdrawal...)
    Thanks for post. You always post great things! Make more vids!!!!

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  5. Girl...this had my stomach & face hurting I was laughing so much! I'm definitely hovering between 7-9! When I get to 10...I might throw a parade! I do have the occasional YT binge as a refresher course #imdoingthebestican

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  6. I fluctuate between stage 8 and 9 but 10 is my default. I always love my hair!

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